So, we took the midnight bus, departed on 1am due to 30 minutes delay and arrived around 7am the next day. My father-in-law fetched us from the bus station and sent us to Indonesia embassy after breakfast.

I was so confident that I have ALL the necessary documents in hand and will surely get the Surat Keterangan on that day itself. Turns up we still lacked of: the photocopy of my parent-in-law’s IC – which is not a big deal at all, and one more stamp & signature from Medan subdistrict/kecamatan which is very jialat. Hello, just lack of one more stamp! *frustration mode on*

On another side, the lady staff insisted that she did give the check-list (of what documents that we need to bring in order to obtain that Surat Keterangan from her) to us. Not only that, she also claimed that she remembered my boy’s face and not me. Wtf? I can have a very different face in 3 months time without plastic surgery? -__-”

Me: No, you never gave the list to us. Cause last few months when we came here, I was a Buddhist and he was a Christian. You said that different religion cannot obtain the letter and we have to go back Indonesia to make the marriage certificate. I went back but same thing, they don’t allow different religion hence I changed.
She: Ohhh, I’m sorry. no wonder I didn’t give the list to you guys because you were having different religion.

Oh my, can bang head to the wall. After the tiring 6 hours journey by bus, we ended up with NOTHING! Ok, see the bright side at least now we know what document we are lacking of. I just need to wait for my parent to get that necessary stamping and send via DHL to me. Another waiting. At least 4 to 5 days or more than that thanks to Xmas for falling on Friday.

On a gloomy side, I forgot to leave my IC’s photocopy for my parent while they need it right now, so that they can get the stamp ASAP. To make thing worse, my bro is still at school. Need to wait until he is back at 3pm to print out my attachment via email. Can’t help but to waste one day. Regret why I never spare my time to teach my parent on how to use computer and email, while my Dad has been nagging me to teach him for quite some time. Sigh.

My tourist visa is about to expired in 12 days time. It doesn’t help that Christmas and New Year falls on Friday which means we only have 4 working day for this 2 weeks. How to settle stuff like this? I definitely need someone to help me extend the visa until we can get the marriage certificate and obtain the spouse visa. Good thing, we bumped into my boy’s old friend who can help me to extend, while we were waiting for bus that night. What a coincidence eh?

Taking a deep breath, hopefully we can get the certificate before Chinese New Year, cause I need to file it at Indonesia marriage department when I go back around CNY. After that only both of us can breath well and say that we have settled down.

Obstacles:
1. Different nationality. I am Indonesian and boyfriend is Malaysian.
2. Different religion. I was a Buddhist and boyfriend is a Christian. It was stated clearly in the documents, my IC, etc, we cannot lie to the officer.
3. Malaysia allows marriage between Buddhist-Christian, but Indonesian doesn’t allow that.

Process of getting marriage certificate:
1. Through the process, we found out that inter-religion marriage is not allowed in Indonesia. We did try to register in Malaysia first, but Indonesia Consulate insisted of not giving me the necessary statement letter hence we couldn’t move on to the next step.

2. Either one of us has to convert religion legally. Since I grow up with the mindset that a woman should follow her husband, I decided to change my religion on the paper, from my IC (Identity Card) to other documents.

3. But that is not as easy as telling the officer that I already a Christian and voila, they make changes on my IC. I have to show a proof or statement from the church. To get that statement, I have to go through the baptist path.

4. Baptist to me, is a very important thing. I could be a Buddhist who practice KongHuCu at the same time, but I never been ‘baptized in the temple’ (I don’t know what is the correct word in Buddhism) cause I’m not ready yet. After much consideration, I go for baptist path since it is the only way out. *appreciate if you not judging me and my decision*

5. Now, I am basically waiting for the baptism paper so that I can have my IC and other necessary documents changed.

6. Problem doesn’t stop here. Yesterday, I went to civil office (read: catatan sipil) only to find out that : to file the marriage in Indonesia, we need to have a marriage certificate from church or temple – depends on one’s religion. On another side, Malaysia doesn’t have that requirement – you can register your marriage in the civil office without the need to marry in church/temple first.

7. Next problem: to have our wedding done in a church, we need to have our baptist paper and need to be a member of the church. So, I am waiting for my baptist paper but boyfriend doesn’t have one. He, who has been staying in KL for more than 6 years, is not a member of any churches in his hometown too.

8. We have thought of the solution and will have an extremely simple kind of wedding church in Medan. But everything is yet to be confirmed. Hopefully it will go well.

9. Through the process in boyfriend’s hometown few weeks ago, we found someone who claimed to be capable of obtaining the marriage certificate in both countries – Malaysia and Indonesia, at the fee of RM10,000. Boyfriend and I were so frustrated and tired with the process already, it did come across our mind to just throw that sum of money and have everything settle by that person, so that we can focus on our work. But, our parents woke us up that it is better to settle it ourselves, although it takes time. Oh well, it’s RM10,000 and not RM1,000. Forget it.

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All the while Malaysia government (Sibu, in specific) has been very helpful. They told us the information that they know and did what they can do. The sh*tty part comes from Indonesia government, my own country! The consulate’s representative in Kuching said that the law has changed since September 1st 2009, therefore two people with different religion (i.e. Buddhist and Christian) must file a marriage certificate in Indonesia first and that the Consulate cannot gives the “Surat Keterangan” for me to file the marriage in Malaysia.

I still can’t understand that part. I mean, hey, even Malaysia government is OK with filling the marriage although I am Buddhist and boyfriend is a Christian. Then, why does Indonesia Consulate don’t want to give me that “Surat Keterangan”? If I get that letter, we are one step closer in getting the marriage certificate done.

Anyway, I come back here, called a law firm and got the answer that different religion marriage is not allowed here (either one has to change into the same religion) and I should get the marriage certificate from Malaysia government first then only come back here and legalized it. I seriously feel that I am being ping-pong-ed here. -___-”

Since middleman cannot help, I’m gonna go to the civil office (catatan sipil) tomorrow to clear things up. There should be a way to get this marriage certificate done. Please pray for us.

Good thing is, we know a senior whom we can go for consultation. He explained to us about the overall steps – not in details but clear enough to make us feel relief. Finally we can see some light at the end of the dark tunnel.

The first thing we did is to go to JPN with our documents on Monday (yesterday) and hoping to get the marriage form to be filled. We took the number and waited for almost 2 hours only to find out that we are lack of a few more documents. Two needs to be done in Indonesia while another one needed to be done in Indonesia Consulate at Kuching. *Headache mode on* Luckily, the Chinese lady was very helpful and very friendly, she explained to us another in-depth steps.

Finished with that, I informed my parent to help me with the process of the other 2 documents and made a phone call to Indonesia Consulate in Kuching this morning. I was about to ask what documents do I need to bring there in order to get another legal document from them. But, they asked me back regarding our religion and said,”If different religion (ie. Buddhist and Christian), you can’t do the marriage certificate here. You have to get it done in Indonesia first, then only legalized it in Malaysia.” *jaw drops* *almost faint down*

We were super desperate thinking about the flight and the extra hassles that we will need to go through. Also, how our plan is going to change. Then, boyfriend decided to seek for help from the FooChow association. We went there this afternoon but they can’t help much since their license is on renewal process. We were directed to another senior yadayada.

After that, we continued to go to Huang Clan association and that’s where we met our saviors. The lady was very helpful, she made phone calls, and directed us to a senior in Mahkamah. So we drove to the place and coincidentally met a senior (whom we went to consult at the first place) – talk about faith?- in which he directed us to the man that we were looking for. Another phone call was made and to cut it short, the different-religion-problem is cleared.

After getting the extra documents from my parent on tomorrow, we should be able to proceed to the Consulate in Kuching. Then make our way back here and go through another long process.

Thanks G for having a super friendly and helpful associations here. At the other side, I’m kinda disappointed with Indonesia Consulate for not giving me the best solution. The info that they gave (go back Indo to settle the legal stuff) is not helpful at all. And what with Buddhist and Christian can’t married here but have to go back Indonesia? We are not even muslim and non-muslim.

Our relationship is really full with rocky path. Let’s pray hard so that thing will go well.

Alright, perhaps I shouldn’t blame the distance as we have no problem designing for clients with up to 12 hours different time zone. While we are just 1 hour different. That’s so unfair to blame Mr. Distance, you know.

So I figure the source of the problem is on us. Both of us have graphic design background and we are working as web-designers now. When we are the designer, it is very hard to satisfy ourselves as a client. At least I find so and I believe I’m not the only one who face this problem. Some more, my design taste is different from him. When I see it as simple, he sees it as too over, and the other way round.

Anyway, after 1 month of starting the invitation design, we are going back to the circle – at the start point again now. Sigh.